Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize