Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
