My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
