We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Randomize
