if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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