shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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