The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
this will be a night to untag.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
