its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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