CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
