She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
