We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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