The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
