He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
