john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
