I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize