True but thats because hes a fetus.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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