So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
