Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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