I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
