mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
