He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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