you turned your livingroom into a bong?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
