Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Can I color on your dick again?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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