He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
