I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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