I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
