I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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