i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
