That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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