At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Can I color on your dick again?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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