This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Randomize
