I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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