Dual....:-)
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
