I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
