How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
