it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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