Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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