So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
