I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
