They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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