Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Come share oat with me in your robe
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
