shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
