I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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