ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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