just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
