dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
