lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
