No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
