I wanna bring you to show and tell
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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