OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
