I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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