I hate your face
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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