and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
