Apparently you make a good broom.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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