she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
