Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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