You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
