drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
