i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
My balls are so social today.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
