So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize