Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
