i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
