Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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