omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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