i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
