I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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