I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize