some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
My life is pants optional.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
