the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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