im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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