I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
